Topic
Debunking Family Myths
Instructions
Zinn et al. (2016) makes the point in Chapter 1 that families are more “ideas” than “actual realities.” As such, they are prone to a number of myths. These myths are “beliefs that are held uncritically and without examination or scrutiny” (p. 5). This exercise will help you critically examine the myths that have been at play in your family of origin.
1. Provide a brief (3-4 sentence) description of each myth listed in Section 1.3. (There are 6 altogether.) Make these brief, please, and in your own words as much as possible.
2. Consider your family of origin. Answer the following, providing details from your experience with your family of origin as evidence.
a. Which of the 6 myths is actually a “truth,” meaning that it really does describe the experience you had with your family or origin?
b. Which of the 6 myths is definitely a “myth,” meaning that society saw your family in this way, but the actual experience of your family was quite different. In other words, what secret did your family hold from the rest of the world?
c. Which of the 6 myths, as played out in your family of origin, was most damaging in the long run? In other words, which has had (or has) a negative impact on your family of origin as you experience relationships with its members today?
d. Which of the 6 myths do you see as influencing you the most as you think about the family you hope to create someday (not your family of origin, but family of “choice”)? (For some of you, this could have already happened, so talk about how one of these myths has influenced your relationship with that family.)
Part Two
This is an exercise that will help you unpack your biases related to your family of origin. It may be helpful to re-read Chapter 6 before you complete this exercise.
1. Find an image (Google Images is a good resource) that best represents your family of origin and “cut and paste” it into the center of your Word document.
2. Type the following labels at various places around that image: class identification, race/ethnicity identity, and gender/sex roles.
3. Underneath each of these labels, write 2-3 messages that you received from your family of origin about that label. (For example, I received the message that I was middle class and, as a result, had to work hard for everything I earned.)
4. Above each of these labels, write the primary source of the message you identified in #3 (mom, grandpa, my sister, etc.) In some cases, the source may be more than one person.
5. 2 of your document, answer the following in relation to the figure you created:
a. Identify any structural inequalities that existed that influenced any of these messages. Structural inequalities refer to those institutions and forces outside of your family that influenced them in some way. (See page 86-87 in your text for more on that concept.)
b. Discuss how these structural inequalities affected your relationship with other members of your family of origin.
c. Discuss how these structural inequalities affected your relationship with individuals outside of your family of origin.
Part Three
For this part of the experiential exercise, you will have a conversation with someone in your family of origin, either by phone, Skype, email, or (preferably) in person.
Which of the messages in the figure you created for Part 2 do you hope to change or alter as you become older and develop a family of your own? Why do you want to change these? (If you are old enough to have developed a family already, reflect on your experience with that family right now.)
Which of the messages in the figure you created for Part 2 do you hope to retain or keep the same as you become older and develop a family of your own? Why do you want to keep or retain them? (Again, if you are old enough to have developed a family already, reflect on your experience with that family right now.)
Next, have a conversation with the person from your family of origin. Share your thoughts to the two prompts above, plus anything else that came up for you in your creation of the image in Part 2.
Finally, write a 2-3 paragraph reflection that covers the following:
1. What was your family member’s reaction to what your said? Note specifically things that he/she said that surprised you.
2. What was your reaction to that reaction…or how did you feel as you had this conversation? Did anything that was said frustrate you? Do you feel closer to this person now?, etc.
3. How might your relationship change with this person as a result of this conversation? Will it? Why or why not?
Answer preview
Myth of having more stable and harmonious families in the past involves current people being selective in romanticizing the past and focusing on changes that has occurred over the past decades, while myth of separate worlds entails the notion of considering family as a place of escaping outside world; creating distinction between private and public realms. Myth of monolithic family form involves a notion of standardized form family where a father is the breadwinner, mother as the homemaker, and children living in one-family house at home, while the myth of unified family experience entails the general assumption that members of a family are merged and their meanings, experiences, and needs are common. Family consensus myth is embedded on a notion that families are based consensual and compassionate relations, while a myth that a family decline as a reason for social problems entails the use of myths of the past and recent family changes to consider family breakdown as the cause for numerous social ills.
Word count: 1797